Yes, I have dressed up in black cloaks and shouted expelliarmus at my friends. Yes, I have carved the words The Dark Lord Shall Rise Again onto my desk. I have stayed up al night reading Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by the light of my table lamp or my cell phone. Yes, I am a "Harry-Potter- geek."
Draco Malfoy… I always thought he was, kind of an enigma. Okay maybe not always, but at least after book 6. From the spoilt, rich, obnoxious brat from books 1 to 5, he breaks down into a shell of who he used to be, ashen-faced, entrusted with a duty he did not want. At least one he wasn't strong enough to execute. Maybe I'm being dramatic with the whole "broken into a shell of who he was" thing, but hey, not my fault if I have a flair for the dramatic!
Been a while since I read book 7 but one scene I remember from it is Lord Voldemort having suspended the Muggle Studies professor, revolving her in mid air.
"All of the Death Eaters were looking up at the captive now, as though they had been given permission to show curiosity. As she revolved to face the firelight, the woman said, in a cracked and terrified voice, 'Severus! Help me!'
'Ah, yes,' said Snape as the prisoner turned slowly away again.
'And you, Draco?' asked Voldemort, stroking the snake's snout with his wand-free hand. Draco shook his head jerkily. Now that the woman had woken, he seemed unable to look at her anymore."
Well, the topic of Draco came up because I very recently saw the movie of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince (No, even though I am a fan of the books, never been very into the movie franchise) and it struck me how incredibly *hot* the actor who plays Draco has become. =P So much better an actor… [No offense to Radcliffe fans…]
Better dressed than Harry too, while Harry saves the world in a hoodie and jeans, Draco Malfoy goes about his mission in a well tailored black suit which sets off his pale complexion and hair. Ooh la la!
Lol…
♥ ♥ ♥
Showing posts with label mind. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mind. Show all posts
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Voices
He stared at the landscape shooting past him. Looking, not really seeing. There was a woman sitting opposite him. She looked to be in her late-twenties, around five to ten years older than him. She seemed concerned, tried to make conversation once, maybe twice. He didn't care, just upped the volume on his iPod. He didn't care what she thought of him, didn't care what the world thought of him. For all he cared the world could just blow up into flames.
His manic pleasure at the idea of every human burning to death, though for just an instant, was so intense, it scared him. He never knew that he was capable of such emotion.
He was falling. Falling hard, falling fast. Falling into himself. Into his misery, his self-pity, his hatred… Into the darkness growing inside him… Darkness, stemming out of hatred… And deep inside, fear… Where am I going? What have I done?.... Who have I become?
A part of him knew the answer to those questions. But that voice had always been submissive, oppressed by the louder, darker voices. When he tried to remember why he was going away, it was those loud, dark voices who brought him the memory…
He had gone to his fiancé's apartment in the morning. Let himself in with his key. Found her in bed with his best friend. He was calm, composed. Told her he wouldn't get in the way. Turned around, and walked away. All that mattered was that she was happy…
Really?
Damn that little voice…
Yes. Really. That is what happened and nothing you can do about it. Either of you…
The louder voice… it must be right. It had to be right. I mean… It was louder, stronger…
Listen to me… You have to go back. You can't run away.
We are not running away. We're making a new future. We're leaving the past behind, moving on.
You are lying. Don't be deceived.
You are weak. You have to go. We're all strong here. You don’t belong. You have to go.
That silenced the smaller voice. It couldn’t be heard anymore. It was gone…So easily… Could it really go away that fast? That easily? Maybe it was lying, maybe it wasn't… He searched his mind for the memory the louder voice had hid from him earlier.
He had gone to his fiancé's apartment in the morning. Let himself in with his key. Found her in bed with his best friend. He was angry, furious. Got out of the building, ran into his car. The loud voice told him what to do. He followed the instructions, took out the loaded .22 and walked back to the house. He walked, calmer. He let himself in, she hadn't locked the door yet. He found both of them sitting up in bed, her eyes were red, so were his. He walked into the room. Slowly raised the gun to her head, and said, "I won't get in your way. You can be with each other and I don’t care a fucking damn. You can be together forever"… Gunshots. It was over…
You should have listened to me.
We could have had a new life, but no, you had to resist didn't you?
You must pay the price.
It is your fault. What is going to happen now, is entirely your fault.
He got up, all of a sudden. The woman opposite him looked up, startled. She started to say something but then she stopped when she saw the manic gleam in his eyes. His expressions, a mixture of fear, horror and intense malicious pleasure. He walked to the washroom, the .22 burning a hole in his pocket.
***
Gunshots… A scream… They found him with his brains blown out, sprawled on the floor of the washroom…
The murderer, the one who was murdered by himself, he was gone. He used to hear voices in his head. The voices that taught him to kill.
His manic pleasure at the idea of every human burning to death, though for just an instant, was so intense, it scared him. He never knew that he was capable of such emotion.
He was falling. Falling hard, falling fast. Falling into himself. Into his misery, his self-pity, his hatred… Into the darkness growing inside him… Darkness, stemming out of hatred… And deep inside, fear… Where am I going? What have I done?.... Who have I become?
A part of him knew the answer to those questions. But that voice had always been submissive, oppressed by the louder, darker voices. When he tried to remember why he was going away, it was those loud, dark voices who brought him the memory…
He had gone to his fiancé's apartment in the morning. Let himself in with his key. Found her in bed with his best friend. He was calm, composed. Told her he wouldn't get in the way. Turned around, and walked away. All that mattered was that she was happy…
Really?
Damn that little voice…
Yes. Really. That is what happened and nothing you can do about it. Either of you…
The louder voice… it must be right. It had to be right. I mean… It was louder, stronger…
Listen to me… You have to go back. You can't run away.
We are not running away. We're making a new future. We're leaving the past behind, moving on.
You are lying. Don't be deceived.
You are weak. You have to go. We're all strong here. You don’t belong. You have to go.
That silenced the smaller voice. It couldn’t be heard anymore. It was gone…So easily… Could it really go away that fast? That easily? Maybe it was lying, maybe it wasn't… He searched his mind for the memory the louder voice had hid from him earlier.
He had gone to his fiancé's apartment in the morning. Let himself in with his key. Found her in bed with his best friend. He was angry, furious. Got out of the building, ran into his car. The loud voice told him what to do. He followed the instructions, took out the loaded .22 and walked back to the house. He walked, calmer. He let himself in, she hadn't locked the door yet. He found both of them sitting up in bed, her eyes were red, so were his. He walked into the room. Slowly raised the gun to her head, and said, "I won't get in your way. You can be with each other and I don’t care a fucking damn. You can be together forever"… Gunshots. It was over…
You should have listened to me.
We could have had a new life, but no, you had to resist didn't you?
You must pay the price.
It is your fault. What is going to happen now, is entirely your fault.
He got up, all of a sudden. The woman opposite him looked up, startled. She started to say something but then she stopped when she saw the manic gleam in his eyes. His expressions, a mixture of fear, horror and intense malicious pleasure. He walked to the washroom, the .22 burning a hole in his pocket.
***
Gunshots… A scream… They found him with his brains blown out, sprawled on the floor of the washroom…
The murderer, the one who was murdered by himself, he was gone. He used to hear voices in his head. The voices that taught him to kill.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Writer's Block....
I never thought I was much of a writer so I never thought I could be affected by writer's block...
I'm midway thru a story and I have no idea where to go from there.... I've read somewhere that writer's block can occur when the mind is tired, or when you are writing about someting that is connected to you personally, some memory you have repressed, some memory that is painful to you...
:S
I'm midway thru a story and I have no idea where to go from there.... I've read somewhere that writer's block can occur when the mind is tired, or when you are writing about someting that is connected to you personally, some memory you have repressed, some memory that is painful to you...
:S
Friday, October 22, 2010
20th post
I keep coming to my Dashboard and it keeps showing '19 posts'.... I don't like the number 19.... I don't know why... It seems sort of imperfect...
*shrug*
SO this one is going to be number 20... I'll probably delete this when I put up my actual 20th post....
Hmmm...
Sometimes even those people who can totally read your mind can read you wrong... Then you feel that nobody in the world knows you better than you do and that feels wonderful.... But then it kinda sucks because they think that its because of someone or something who/which is not responsible for your current state of mind.... You could always tell them what is wrong...
But sometimes you cant. Because you are upset because of someting you can't mention, something you can't be thinking about... And then it becomes your private hell, eating away at your heart and soul...
Or it can be your happy place.... Mending your broken heart, a band-aid to your cut up soul....
Whatever....
*shrug*
SO this one is going to be number 20... I'll probably delete this when I put up my actual 20th post....
Hmmm...
Sometimes even those people who can totally read your mind can read you wrong... Then you feel that nobody in the world knows you better than you do and that feels wonderful.... But then it kinda sucks because they think that its because of someone or something who/which is not responsible for your current state of mind.... You could always tell them what is wrong...
But sometimes you cant. Because you are upset because of someting you can't mention, something you can't be thinking about... And then it becomes your private hell, eating away at your heart and soul...
Or it can be your happy place.... Mending your broken heart, a band-aid to your cut up soul....
Whatever....
Saturday, October 16, 2010
The Bucket List.... and Realizations
A good friend of mine introduced to me today the idea of a "Bucket List" or a list of "Things to do before I die"... (Here's to you, good friend..;P) By introduced I mean specifically encouraged me to put my Bucket List down onto a sheet of paper.... The list, being slightly personal, will not be put up (sorry!) since this blog is only semi-anonymous in nature....
Writing down this list made me think about what I *really* want to do with my life and it has got me into thinking about prioritizing all these *wishes*.... I am naturally a kinda "aimless" person, as you can see in the blog title, and this sort of helped me to put things into perspective.... Yeah I know it sounds lame but making one teeny list gave me a purpose in life... :)
***
Meanwhile on a slightly more personal note, realizations come in unexpected ways.... As a poke in the shoulder, a stab in the back, a slap on the face, a punch in the gut... well, you get my drift.... But in most forms realizations hurt... And they hurt more when you know you paved the way for the stab, slap or punch... When you know that the only reason you got hurt is because of you.... What sucks is that you know that you thinking too much will make you get hurt, but then you still do it...
It is like cutting yourself, this thinking too much... Hurting yourself, to make yourself feel better.... It is a weird philosophy.... You hear someone say something, you know its not gonna be the same tomorrow when his/her other, more important people are there but still, you let that word or that sentence get to you.... Get to you on such a level that you're smiling throughout the day, nothing and nobody can ruin your day.... When deep, deep inside, you know that tomorrow, everything's gonna go back to normal, you're not gonna be worth anything more than crap.... But then you choose not to hear that voice deep inside, that voice which knows what is best for you, and you are on a weird high....
The next day you wake up and to the person you meant so much to yesterday, you are nothing special..... The voice inside is silent, giving comfort but no, "I told you so" would hurt so much less....
<3 <3 <3
Writing down this list made me think about what I *really* want to do with my life and it has got me into thinking about prioritizing all these *wishes*.... I am naturally a kinda "aimless" person, as you can see in the blog title, and this sort of helped me to put things into perspective.... Yeah I know it sounds lame but making one teeny list gave me a purpose in life... :)
***
Meanwhile on a slightly more personal note, realizations come in unexpected ways.... As a poke in the shoulder, a stab in the back, a slap on the face, a punch in the gut... well, you get my drift.... But in most forms realizations hurt... And they hurt more when you know you paved the way for the stab, slap or punch... When you know that the only reason you got hurt is because of you.... What sucks is that you know that you thinking too much will make you get hurt, but then you still do it...
It is like cutting yourself, this thinking too much... Hurting yourself, to make yourself feel better.... It is a weird philosophy.... You hear someone say something, you know its not gonna be the same tomorrow when his/her other, more important people are there but still, you let that word or that sentence get to you.... Get to you on such a level that you're smiling throughout the day, nothing and nobody can ruin your day.... When deep, deep inside, you know that tomorrow, everything's gonna go back to normal, you're not gonna be worth anything more than crap.... But then you choose not to hear that voice deep inside, that voice which knows what is best for you, and you are on a weird high....
The next day you wake up and to the person you meant so much to yesterday, you are nothing special..... The voice inside is silent, giving comfort but no, "I told you so" would hurt so much less....
<3 <3 <3
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